GODIVA
The Engineering Hymn
(to the tune of the Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride,
To show all the villagers her lovely bare white hide.
The most observant man of all, an Engineer of course,
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse.
CHORUS:
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can, demolish forty beers,
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, and come along with us,
For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us.
"I've come a long, long way," she said, "and I will go as far.
With the one who takes me from my horse and leads me to a bar."
The men who took her from her horse and stood to a beer,
Were a blurry-eyed Surveyor and a drunken Engineer.
CHORUS
My father was a miner from the Northern Malamute,
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill-repute.
They kicked me out at a tender age and never shed a tear,
"Get out of here you son-of-a-bitch and join the Engineers!"
CHORUS
An Artsie and an Engineer once found a gallon can,
Said the Artsie, "Match me drink for drink, and prove that you're a man!"
They took three drinks, the Artsie fell, his face was turning green,
But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline."
CHORUS
I happened once upon a girl, her eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my surprise she told me that she never had been kissed,
For her boyfriend was a tired engineering scientist.
CHORUS
Sir Francis Drake and all his men set out for Calais Bay,
They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was heading up that way.
But the Engineers had beat them by a night and half a day,
And though as drunk as they could be, you still could hear them say...
CHORUS
Caesar went to Egypt at the age of fifty-three,
But Cleopatra's blood was red, her heart was warm and free.
So every night when Caesar left for sleep at one o'clock
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block.
CHORUS
Venus is a statue made entirely of stone,
There's not a fig leaf on her, she's naked as a bone.
On noticing her arms were gone, an Engineer discoursed,
"The damn thing's broken concrete and it should be reinforced."
CHORUS
A maiden and an engineer were sitting in a park,
The Engineer was busy doing research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe,
While his right hand wrote the figures, his left hand traced the curves.
CHORUS
My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole,
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she's on parole.
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But they won't even talk to me 'cause I'm an Engineer.
CHORUS
On reading Kama Sutra, he tried position nine,
For proving masculinity it truely was divine.
But then one day the girl rebelled and threw him on his rear,
For he was a feeble Artsie, and she was an Engineer.
CHORUS
The army and the navy boys went out to have some fun,
Down to the local tavern where the fiery liquors run.
But all they found were empties for the Engineers had come,
And traded in their instruments for gallon jugs of rum.
CHORUS
An Artsie and an Engineer were stranded in a boat,
One person to many, though, the poor boat wouldn't float.
The Engineer would flip a coin to settle the dispute,
So he flipped in the water and the Artsie gave pursuit.
CHORUS
An Engineer once came to class so drunk and very late,
He was carrying a load that you'd expect to ship by freight.
The only things that held him up and kept him on his course,
Were the boundry condition and the electrostatic force.
CHORUS
Now you've heard out story and you know we're Engineers,
We love to hate our problem sets and we love to drink our beers.
We drink to every person who comes from far and near,
'Cause we're a HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A,
HELL OF AN ENGINEER!